If you don’t ask, you’ll never get what you want

Dividing up the household chores is one of the most difficult aspects of living with another person. Most people think only newlyweds have this dilemma, but it’s something even older couples, life-long friends and college roommates struggle with when they live together.

Most people don’t enter into a living arrangement thinking they will simply get the other person to do all the work around the house so they can just relax and enjoy the weekend. Quite often, when two people decide to live together, they get right to work making joint decisions on what color to paint the walls, what type of furniture they want to have or where to place the TV.

But when it comes to maintaining the home and the yard, paying the bills, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning many individuals simply start doing whatever it is they’re most comfortable with, without much discussion at all. And that’s exactly where the problem lies.

Silence isn’t the answer

For example, if you love to cook, you might be excited to prepare the first few meals in your new home. After only a short time, you find you’re doing all the cooking, and it’s just become part of the routine. The other person may not offer to cook a meal because they don’t want to offend you or because they know how much you love to cook. But in the meantime, you’re getting annoyed because they haven’t even asked.

All of this could have been avoided with a simple conversation about who’d be doing the cooking once you moved in. Just stating that you’re excited to try out the new kitchen may be enough to get the conversation started. But be sure to speak up and suggest a plan to share the responsibility if it doesn’t come up automatically. You can apply this same tactic to just about any ongoing chore that’s likely to become a source of frustration if only one person is responsible.

Communication is easier once the lines are open

While it’s always a good idea to have these types of discussions ahead of time, it’s important to keep in mind that once you’re all settled in you may need to make some adjustments to your preplanned routine. Maybe one person’s commute is longer than originally thought, or maybe you decided to get a dog. However, having already had discussions about sharing responsibilities, it will be much easier to discuss what may need to change.

Some people may be resistant to the idea of discussing responsibilities in the home, because they think it seems too ridged. But the truth is, having clear-cut roles makes it even easier to be flexible, especially in the short term. For example, you see that the other person is struggling with something (e.g., a big project that’s keeping them at the office late or a cold that’s keeping them on the couch). If it’s their turn to make dinner or take out the trash, be sure to offer to step in. Just make sure you’re genuine in asking if you can help out, as you don’t want them to feel like they’re not keeping up their end. Also, by asking if they need help, you’re setting a precedent of pitching in when needed, and the favor will likely be returned when you’re in need.

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Unexpected signs that matching partners may possess in a relationship

In the real world, there are less expected clues that two people are compatible for a relationship that could finally end up into a marriage. Professional matchmakers bring singles together by offering a personal touch with face to face interactions. They deal with people with a busy schedule who don’t want to spend an inordinate amount of time searching and viewing online dating profiles of potential partners. These matchmakers earn a living by providing this service with their uncanny ability to read people and determine what type of a person would be a good match for them; it’s their profession.

As they say, a good relationship can come without good timing and the chemistry. Professional matchmakers have found that there are several relationship surprises that can make a relationship work.

  1. A person who is not your usual type. There’s a reason why relationships with your “type” ever last; they may not be for you! Sometimes it may actually be worth you sticking with the deviation. A lady should introduce her guy to some of her passions and may be give him a trial. According to research, meeting a partner who is completely different can expand your world.
  2. Following a vegetarian diet is a factor to be considered. Food preference is essential in determining partners’ compatibility. Whether you and your partner are hard core vegans or gluten free, the whole idea is that as long as you are on the same page on what you put into your stomachs, and the relationship is likely to go far.
    Differences in food preferences can be a bigger issue in future. Dietary restrictions on one partner could put strain on the relationship.

  3. Mr. Nice Guy may not be the ideal for a lady. Psychologically, ladies are more attracted to bad boys. However, they need the opposite of that in the long run. Therefore, a guy who seem bad boy but polite in some instances, may do well with most ladies.
  4. Do you have the same Pet Preferences? For some ladies, their pet is their baby. Their dog comes first before everything and anyone. This could be a huge a problem for their partner, who may have been raised to dislike dogs, resulting in a constant battle for attention. This can work both ways too – your partner may love cats, and it may be normal for them to allow their pet to sleep in the same bed, whereas you deem this unhygienic. If you have conflicting opinions on pets, the relationship may not last very long.
  5. Having the same sense of timing is a good parameter in matchmaking. A sense of punctuality on both partners will do well for their relationships. If one partner is that kind that always runs late, and the other one is punctual, the two may not do well. However, dynamism is essential in partnership.
  6. The level of messy you and your partner can tolerate is crucial. If both are fine with leaving things strewn all over the place or completely OCD, the level of the compatibility is very high. However, having opposite values to tidiness is a huge red flag leading to conflict.

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